Thursday, August 13, 2009

The Lair Food Song




I wrote this song for the Camp Blue Revue at the Lair of the Golden Bear Summer Camp. It's sung to the tune of The Trolley Song from the movie Meet Me at St. Louis. Grace and others have requested that I post the lyrics. The first two stanzas are sung to the tune of the song's introduction, which you won't possibly remember unless you listen to a recording. Most of the humor is summer camp generic, but there are a few references that might be difficult to get if you're not a Lair camper.

With my good intentions
And my hiking shorts
I came here meaning to reduce
I signed up for the outings
And planned on some Pilates
But instead I was seduced

When I came to Lair
I was in despair
I was shaped sort of like a ball
I lacked will power
At happy hour
And here comes my downfall

Clang, clang, clang time for Lair food
Ding, dong, ding goes the bell
Growl, growl, growl goes my tummy
As I trudge up or down Camp Blue hill.

On the first day its turkey
Sunday its barbeque lunch
All the rest’s a bit blurry
Except for tri-tip which we love a bunch

Three times a day
In our blue trays
The food never changes year to year
Once in a while it’s a bit vile
But you’re so hungry you just swallow it with cheer.

Clang, clang, clang time for Lair food
Ding, dong, ding goes the bell
Growl, growl, growl goes my tummy
As I trudge up or down Camp Blue hill.

One thing that you all must do
Please stop and use the wash stand
Cause if we get Camp Blue flu
We’ll spend our whole week on the can

When first bell sounds
It means last rounds
On every happy hour scattered through Camp Blue
So drink up quicker
To get shicker
And to your children be an example that is true

Lair food’s not served on china
Mich-lin won’t give it a look
Still there is nothing finer
Than not ever having to cook.

Clang, Clang, Clang, mealtime’s over
With a whimper not a clang
Full, full full is my tummy
So I grab some dessert
And I stop to hear dirt
Bout the staff
It really makes me laugh
Then I pick up my tray
And I go on my way
And I make double time
to the end of the line.

A few notes:
-- In the last stanza, the lyric was supposed to read (instead of I stop to hear dirt ...):
And perhaps stop and flirt
With the staff
It only makes them laugh
Iris objected to these lyrics. She didn't feel it was appropriate for an 8-year old to be singing them.
-- I was told not to refer to the Camp Blue Revue as a talent show. Some felt that talent was rarely on display.
-- I've written a song for next year sung to the tune of the Cole Porter classic It's too Darn Hot. We'll see if it makes it pass the Camp Blue censor board.
-- My informal survey indicated that most campers did not know what the word shicker means. It's Yiddish for drunk, and Yiddish words are always funnier than English words. Maybe we should be camping in the Catskills.




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